Yesterday, January 27, 2015, was Faye's birthday. We made sure to call her, even while we are on vacation. Sadly, she had no clue it was even her birthday. It was not a good day. When I talked to her for a few minutes, I asked her how she was feeling. She told me she was feeling fine and then went on to talk about how when her plate was empty these people would bring her more food. I have no clue what she was even talking about. Sigh. This is Alzheimer's and the effect it has on one's memory.
When we go out to dinner, the constant questions are where are we? Have I been here before? What did we order? What's the main dish? They are constant and we exercise a great deal of patience when answering or we just do our best to change the subject. Sadly, it is hard for Faye to "keep up," so to speak, with the conversation and I personally believe this makes her feel left out of a lot.
She seems to do fine in her own environment, her home, but when she is taken out of her "comfort zone," I think a little panic and worry sets in. More and more, she is not recognizing people in pictures that we have hanging in our living room, to include her husband. More and more, she is forgetting even her son's name. This is so heartbreaking on so many levels! If you have never dealt with a loved one with this mean disease, you have no idea ... I know it hurts my husband's heart even if he won't admit it.
On the flip side, this lady seems to have so much energy! We cannot even begin to keep up ... it is almost as if not only has her mind reverted to being a child, so to speak, but so has her energy level.
It also seems that her brain function, for lack of a better term, seems to do better when she eats properly. Her husband, Les, tends to cook way too much and he cooks things that Faye just will not eat, for whatever reason. So, when they stay at home to eat, her diet consists mostly of chicken patties and bananas.
For a while, she was on so many medications, when she would take them, that it wasn't even funny. We started investigating what the side effects for these meds were as she was losing a lot of weight - fast - and she just was not eating, not even a chicken patty! Well, we found out that most of the meds would cause lack of taste and lack of appetite. Off to the doctor we went (I was seriously concerned about her weight loss as she has had colon cancer in the past, or at least polyps) and off the meds she went! What an improvement! Her appetite came back and so did the weight. What a relief! Quite frankly, other than her memory and some deterioration in her kidney function, Faye is healthier than we are! No joke!
One of the scariest things Faye does is wander off. She will get separated from her husband in the store from time to time. It is a very hard thing, but when an individual has dementia you cannot tell them to "meet me at McDonald's at 2PM" and expect them to remember. It is a sad thing. Anyway, she will get separated from him and somehow find a stranger to give her a ride home. Just how she knows where she lives, I don't know. I truly believe it is only through the kindness of strangers and, literally, through the Grace of God that she gets home safely. One time she was found in front of the dollar store by their housekeeper and her husband was still in the store, but because of her dementia she thought he had left her there. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease. (We do have her registered with the police department - I highly encourage you all to do this as well, register your loved ones!)
So, yes, while I think it is an awesome thing the celebrities do when they share their own stories as it helps get the word out about this devastating disease, I think it is even more important for every day people, people like you and me, to do the same thing. I don't think there is enough attention given to Alzheimer's - especially since it is the sixth leading cause of death here in the US ... we need to do more. There has to be more we can do. I think through educating myself and sharing stories, we are taking a step in the right direction. Feel free to contact me and we can share your story with pictures, a favorite Bible verse, a poem, a song, just words ... whatever will help to get the word out - mjammons@comcast.net.
After having lost a loved one to this devastating disease, and feeling the unbelievability of it all, it is my goal, even more than ever - to "put a face" to Alzheimer's.
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